The AA Adventures of the Little Pink String
by UnwantedBlackRoseProductions
Summary: UBER CROSSOVER ANIME MADNESS! Very loosly centered around Edward Elric. Rating is closer to M than K So that makes it OT! CRACK!
1. Fullmetal and the Pink String

_**NL: Kiki and I should never be left alone when bored and sugar high.. Or else madness ensues! This fic is pure crack. One-hundred percent. And not only that, there is yaoi crack. And also fluff crack. And this fic is a cross over between pretty much every anime we know. And some video games. It's like.. Wow. And we own none of it! -sniffle- Oh yes, and there's a bunch of crack-crossover pairings in here that we do not approve up. Crossover pairings just wouldn't work out.. Ya know? And then there's all the bashing we do in this.. You see, we actually really like most of the characters we bash.. Yes.. **_**Most**

_**Warnings: yaoi, fangirl-y-ness, UBER OOC-NESS, character bashing, excessive swearing **_

_**Pairings(in this chapter): some of these are one-sided but I don't feel like typing that...**_

_**CloudXRikuXSesshomaru**_

_**KadajXEd**_

_**EnvyXEd**_

_**MirokuXSango**_

_**Crossovers(in this chapter): Fullmetal Alchemist X InuYasha X Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children X Kingdom Hearts II, Fullmetal Alchemist: Bluebird's Illusion X Spongebob Squarepants X Bleach**_

_**Things we do no own(in this chapter): any of the animes, Ed's pink panties(we got that from an avatar), some of the random quotes and jokes**_

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The Awesomely Awesome Adventures of the Little Pink String

Chapter One

One upon a time there was a little pink string. No one knows where the string came from, or why it was able to travel through worlds, but it was. Maybe it was from Ed's magical pink panties from his other life.. The string started on the back of Ed's jacket. It was a very annoying magical pink string due to the fact that the string could talk. Right now, though, it was silent, as it wanted to serve the tiny alchemist. The string had no idea what it was for, being attached to the older Elric brother's jacket. Ed was currently heading to Central military HQ. The string took a moment to ponder something. Just why _was_ the city called 'Central'? What was it, the center of the universe? If only it knew..

Alas, the mini alchemist would never make it to his meeting with Colonel Mustang... For the string decided to mix things up a bid. Right where Ed was going to step next, the little string opened up a portal to INUYASHA-LAND! Ed fell through the portal roughly.

"Woah.. Where am I?"

"FLYING SHRIMP!" a rather dumb looking girl in a green school girl outfit shouted.

"Hey Inuyasha," a cute little fox demon said, poking Edward's back with a rather pointy stick. "I think it's human..."

"Is it alive?" the teen in with white dog ears asked.

By this time, Ed had gotten over his time-space travel sickness, and reacted to being called a 'shrimp'. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SHRIMP SO SMALL YOU'D ONLY SEE HIM IF HE WAS FLYING IN FRONT OF YOUR EYEBALLS?!" he roared at the dumb-looking girl. The little pink string silently giggled.

"So you really _can_ fly?" Kagome asked. All of her companions sweat-dropped.

The little pink string decided that it was a good time to mess with the pissed off shrimp. It used its magical pantie powers to cause Ed to float. Yes... Float... He went with it.

"MWA! SEE ME IN MY MAGICALNESS! I FLY BEFORE YOU!" The pink string saw that Ed was not phased by the floating, so it moved to Ed's pants, and made his coat and shirt disappear.

"OH MY GOD IT'S SEXY!" Kagome and Sango shouted in unison. Little anger marks appeared all over Inuyasha's head. A mad in purple robes took advantage of the opportunity to grab Sango's bootay. Ed blushed at his shirtlessness as Sango slapped the man in robes, shouting something along the lines of: "YOU SICK BASTARD!"

Though the authoresses found this scene quite amusing, the little pink string was getting bored. This, of course, meant certain doom for the people around it. It decided to transport the group, and a nearby Lord Fluffykins, to ADVENT CHILDREN-LAND! Woot!

ZHOOM! A motorcycle sped passed the odd group. The person wearing sunglasses looked back out of distraction, and crashed his motorcycle into a conveniently placed nearby boulder. A fiery explosion was seen, and the group ran to see if the man was okay.

As they walked to the crash site, te man walked out of the wreckage towards them. The still-shirtless alchemist was almost speechless... Almost.

"HOLY POOP ON A STICK! Are you okay?"

The man took off his helmet to reveal blond hair that was spikey enough to kill someone with and said, "Of course I'm okay. My power of angst and emo-ness protected me. I'm basically invincible. You can't mess with the emo king.. Bitches."

"No..." the newly joined Sesshomaru growled. "I AM THE EMO KING!"

"No, you're not... bitches. I am Cloud. It's the emo-est name ever. Bitch."

Suddenly a sniffling Riku from Kingdom Hearts II appeared out of no where. "But.. What about me?" Tears had gathered in his eyes. Cloud glared at him.

"I am CLOUD! I AM THE EMO KING!!.. But I don't really care.. Hey.. Look. That mission where I had to dress up as a girl to save Tifa? Well, I had to shave my legs. I like the smoothness. Look." Cloud lifted up a pant leg (with painted nails) to reveal a perfectly hairless, smooth leg. "Bitches.."

Suddenly Pride!Ed walked across the scene, hand in hand with Envy. The girls (and Ed) got nosebleeds as they stared at the couple. Pride then sent them a very blank glance, showing absolutely no emotion whatsoever. The girls (and Ed) let out fangirl squeals of delight. "Oh my god! Goth is SOOO much hotter than Eeeemoooo!"

At this, Cloud, Riku, and Sesshomaru all sobbed and started to make out. Even the pink string got a nosebleed. Then Kadaj appeared out of no where. "What the fuck?!" The silver haired guy asked as he turned to Cloud. "You're _gay_?!!"

"You're NOT?!" Cloud countered. "And what? Can't two, or four guys make out without being gay? This is like the 22nd millennia..."

"Oh.. Good point.. But I'm more into short.." He noticed Ed and quickly glanced at him before looking back at Cloud. "Blond," Another glance. "Temper-mental," Glance "Guys..." By the end of his sentence, he was staring at Ed with a creepy predatory looks on his face.

Ed glanced at the guy looking at him like he was going to eat him, and sidled away nervously. Then Envy popped out of no where, and put his arm around Ed, glaring at Kadaj. "Sorry, Chibi's with _me_." Ed growled at Envy, who stifled the growl by wrapping his arms around Ed's mouth. Ed bit Envy's arm. "Ah! What the hell was that for?!" Ed was silent.

"PINK STRING IS BORED!" Was the shout heard randomly. Suddenly, everyone was in SPONGEBOB-LAND, and was miraculously able to breathe.

"Dude.. What the fuck?" Inuyasha asked. Suddenly, a square yellow man walked up to them.

"Hello friends! Let's go jellyfishing!" He giggled a really annoying high-pitched giggle and stared at the group.

"Sango," Miroku whispered. "He creeps me out! HOLD ME!"

Sango gave him a blank look. "You fight _demons_!"

Then Spongebob noticed Ed. "Oh, hello there, Mr. Shrimp man! How are you today?"

"GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL EVEN A DROP OF WATER IS BIGGER?!" Ed proceeded to beat Spongebob to a bloody pulp, much to Miroku's (and everyone else's) relief.

So then a giant keyhole started glowing in the sky. A fifteen year old boy stepped (or rather, swam, he was a mermaid) out of the keyhole along side a red-haired mermaid. They were both singing wild random and retarded songs. 1

Inuyasha immediately got pissed off, and used Wind Scar on them both. "I HATE RANDOM AND RETARDED SONGS! SO DIE! ALL OF YOU! DIE!" So he randomly started killing people. By the time he finally calmed down, all of the Bikini Bottom residents were bloody on the sear floor... KOOLNESS!

"Wow.." Sango said.

Ed looked rather scared, and decided to try to sneak away./ Well apparently he had gone against the almighty string's wishes, because everyone was transported to... BLEACH-LAND! DOO DOO DOO! ...DOOM!

A giant monster fell in front of the group. A kid with a poser-Cloud sword stepped over it. He looked at the strange group. A shorter girl with black hair, who was with him, asked, "Ichigo, who are all these people?"

"I don't know, Rukia," Ichigo replied. The INUYASHA-LAND group sniggled.

"Why is your name Strawberry?" Miroku laughed.

Ichigo glared at him. "I'll kill you.."

For some reason, a blond girl in mechanic's clothing was walking passed. She stopped in front of the group, blushing slightly at the shirtless alchemist. "Ed..? How'd you get here?" He blushed furiously.

"I.. UM.."

Ichigo was still pissed. "I AM GOING TO KILL YOU, MONK MAN..!"

For some reason, Miroku randomly snapped, "I am NOT the MILK MAN!" His eyes was twitching.

"OOH, WHATCHA GONNA DO, MILKMAN SCUM?!" Ichigo taunted.

"Rah!" He bonked him in the head with his staff.

"AICH!" The strawberry countered with a punch to the monk's stomach.

"Do you even know these people?" Winry asked Ed as she watched the fight.

"Not really..." the alchemist replied.

"HIRIKOS!"2 Sango threw her boomerang at the two fighting, hitting Ichigo in the head, and clocking Miroku in the stomach, knocking them both out.

"Wow.." Was muttered throughout the group.

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_**Yeah.. I think I'll end the chapter there... So... how ya like the crack? Oh yeah, and by the way... The chapter length will probably vary a LOT... Cuz I'm cool that way. -smiles- **_

_**1: I can't even EXPRESS to you how much I effin HATED the Little Mermaid world in Kingdom Hearts II.**_

_**2: I know that's not spelled right.. (sweatdrop)**_


	2. Nny and Envy

_**Crossovers (in this chapter): Fullmetal Alchemist X Johnny the Homicidal Maniac X InuYasha**_

_**Pairings (in this chapter):**_

_**EdXWinry**_

_**Pride!EdXEnvy**_

_**Things we don't own (in this chapter): Spagettios, Taco Hell, any of the animes or comics**_

_**Warnings: Excessive swearing and violence, crack type character deaths, excessive crack, excessive use of the word excessive, things suddenly happening, talking strings, OOCness, sex jokes**_

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The Awesomely Awesome Adventures of the Little Pink String

Chapter Two

"So how'd you get here?" Winry once again asked Ed.

"I honestly have no clue," was his reply. "How about you?"

Winry held up a frayed green string. "Apparently Envy used to wear a green thong.." she said in a creepy monotone. Ed looked down out of embarrassment and disgust. He noticed a little pink string on his pants. He plucked it off himself and held it up. Winry gave him a curious look. "Aren't those from your...?"

"NO!" Ed had shifty eyes. "I never had any!" Suddenly he glared at the string. "DAMN YOU STRING! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" He began to slap the string against the ground.

"YOU MOTHER FUCKING ABUSIVE SHRIMP!" the string screamed.

Winry blinked. "What'd you do to your mother?" she asked, but was ignored.

"LOOK WHO'S TALKING YOU GODDAMN PINK STRING! YOU'RE ONLY FIVE CENTIMETERS LONG!" Ed screamed back at the string.

"I'M LONG FOR MY KIND! YOU'RE A SHRIMP NO MATTER WHAT!"

"Um.. Ed?" Winry asked uncertainly. "You _do_ know you're fighting with a _string_.. Right?"

Ed continued to ignore her, as he dangled Envy's thong string next to his string. "OH YEAH?! WELL THIS STRING'S LONGER THAN YOU! SO HA!"

"Well that string's just unnaturally long! It's not my fault Envy's longer than you!"

"Dude..." (_**Why Winry was talking like that, we will never know...**_) Ed's face went white and his eyes went round. He sank to the floor in a dead faint.

"Dude.. What did I say?" the string asked.

"Hehe..." Winry giggled. "Envy's longer than Ed..."

"Damn right I am!" the hommunculus yelled from wherever he was. Ed was still passed out, or else he probably would have argued.

"PINK STRING IS BORED!"

"Oh god..." Winry was scared.

Everyone was teleported to JOHNNY THE HOMICIDAL MANIAC-LAND! WOOT! Apparently the string had been _really_ bored, because everyone landed in rather awkward positions. Like how Winry landed on top of Ed. Now keep in mind, Ed still wasn't wearing a shirt..

Winry scrambled off of Ed, blushing furiously. Ed had awakened sometime after they fell, but before Winry had gotten off of him. This meant that he was just as red as she was. Everyone else was watching the pair with varied feelings of amusement and boredom.

"You two done yet?" Inuyasha asked rudely. Ed's mouth dropped, but Winry reacted in a different way. Inuyasha got hit in the head with a wrench.

The dog demon rubbed his injured head as he glared at the mechanic girl. "YOU STUPID BITCH! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!"

"Inuyasha!" Kagome yelled. "SIT!"

Soon everyone was arguing, and this was when an unnaturally tall, skinny, and pointy boy walked up. He was sucking on a brainfreezy(_**slurpie/slushie/whatever**_), and watching the group with mild interest.

Shippo looked over. He watched the man watch him. He hopped over and said hello. The man took another slurp of brainfreezy before blinking down at the little fox. "Who're you? You remind me of someone... Hey, have you ever seen the inside of someone's head?"

"Huh. Actually, I have..." Shippo replied. "And you remind me of someone too.."

"You have?" the man asked as he threw his empty cup over his shoulder.

"OMG!" Kagome shouted and pointed at 'Nny. (_**You know, the pointy guy!**_) "IT'S AN UNNATURALLY POINTY MAN!"

'Nny glared at her, and chopped her friggin head off. When Inuyasha saw this, he fell to his knees in despair. "KAGOMEEEEE!" Everyone gave him a blank look for about thirty seconds before he stood up, brushing the dirt off of his pants. "Okay, I'm over it.."

Kikyo walked up to the group, followed by her flying sperm cells.(_**Those.. Soul collector.. Things...**_) "It's okay, I'm still here! Just remember, good is evil, evil is-" The priestess suddenly spontaneously combusted, because authoress Kikifairy hates that Kikyo line with a fiery, hateful passion. (_**Hey.. Isn't suddenly and spontaneously like.. The same thing? Eh, whatever, I won't question Kiki...**_) Everyone cheered, except for Inuyasha, but 'Nny got annoyed with him and sliced him in half, so it was all good...

So after the burial of the three, in which Ichigo peed on the graves, they set off again, with Shippo talking to 'Nny. "So who do I remind you off?" 'Nny asked Shippo.

"Well, you're kind of brooding and prone to anger, so I'd say you remind me of Inuyasha.. But you seem more calm than him," Shippo said, hopping alongside 'Nny.

"You mean that whiney dog-man I killed?"

"Why is everything so pointy here?" Miroku asked. "Any why is everything in black and white?"

'Nny glared at him, and Miroku shut his mouth. Shippo ignored this little exchange, and answered 'Nny's question. "Yeah, that's Inuyasha. But like I said, you seem more calm than him."

"I guess..."

"See? Inuyasha would have hit me on the head! You're a lot nicer that he is.. Was.."

"And you're not upset that he's dead?"

Winry walked over to Sango and whispered in her ear. "He's pretty hot for a colorless dude!" The two giggled as they stared at 'Nny. Unfortunately for them, Ed had heard, and was quite PO'ed about it.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH COLOR?!"

"Huh?" Winry turned to him. "Um.. Nothin', I guess..."

Ed was pissed off for the rest of the day. The group got hungry and went to Taco Hell. Ed lay on the floor of the restaurant, inspecting the ceiling. "WTF?! A 'SGETTIO!"

'Nny looked up, then glared and pointed at the Spagettio. "You! I know you! You're the skettio that got away! I was going to eat you! Because of you I had to starve! Damn you!"

Ed gave him a blank look. "You starved because you couldn't eat one skettio?" he said in a monotone.

"I NEEDED THE WHOLE CAN! NO SKETTIO SHALL BE LEFT BEHIND! But YOU!" He pointed once again at the Spagettio. "You got away! YOU MUST DIE!!"

He started slicing at the poor little Spagettio. Ed just stared for a while, and then turned his arm into a blade and started chopping at the Spagettio as well.

"STOP ALREADY YOU FUCKING PSYCHOS!" The Spagettio yelled. Suddenly it jumped down, changing into a bloody Envy.

"Shouldn't you be dead?" 'Nny asked curiously. After all, Envy was rather bloody and chopped up.

"I KNEW there was a reason I wanted to chop it up!" Ed exclaimed.

"I'm a hommunculus," Envy shrugged. "I regenerate."

'Nny squee-ed. Yes, squee-ed. Like a little fangirl. Everyone gave him a horrified look with 'OMG' and 'WTF' running through their minds. Except Envy, who seemed to currently be emotionally dead. '_Oh god,_' the hommunculous thought a split second before 'Nny was all over him with his swords. Envy got chopped up into itty bitty bits before he regenerated with a blank look on his face.

Ed was watching the scene with an 'OMFG' look on his face. "As much as I hate Envy, that's just not right..."

Then Lord Fluffykins (_**Sesshomaru, duh!**_)came up and drew his sword. "Let me try," he said in his creepy-calm voice. Envy just stood there with a blank look on his face as he got chopped over and over again. Then Lord Fluffykins _smiled_. "Cool..." The people from INUYASHA-LAND that were still there gaped.

"Okay, _ENOUGH_!" Envy finally yelled. 'Nny pouted at him.

"But..."

"No."

"But.."

"_No._"

Pride!Ed walked up behind Envy and hugged him from behind. "Envy-koi is mine. Only I can choppie the Envy," he said in a monotone.

'Nny blinked at him. "So wait.. No, never mind, I don't want to know."

Envy chuckled and leaned back against Pride!Ed, tilting his head to give him a quick peck on the cheek. This, of course, resulted in fangirl squeals.

"BORED!" Ed's face got white as he realized what was speaking..

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_**So I've heard that some people don't know the language of Chat Speak.. So here's a translation list thingy for those people!**_

_**OMG: Oh My God**_

_**WTF: What The Fuck**_

_**OMFG: Oh My Fucking God**_

_**I always feel that I forget some of the pairings and warnings and things.. Do I? I do, don't I? Oh... I knew it... Oh well.. XP**_


End file.
